Working out in the gym is a great way to improve muscle mass, drop some weight and feel great about life in general, but when you take time to physically train and build a better body, you will also have to deal with the not so pleasant sides of the world of working out.
No, I don’t mean the hot bods and the awkward times you must train right next to that super cute guy while you mentally worry that he is silently getting a kick out of watching you struggle with the empty bar on the lat pull down as he glances from the corner of his eye. No, I’m talking about a far more serious issue.
That’s right, sweat. I’m not talking about sweaty armpits or sweat rolling down your face or chest. Oh no! This is a sweat in an area that most people never even take time to consider when they hit the gym. This is the sweat of all sweats, the wetness that turns heads and causes utter embarrassment in the gym. I’m talking about the infamous butt sweat!
Commonly known as swamp ass at the gym, this sweat bursts out like a river after a rain and truly, there is nothing you can do to stop it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you haven’t been working out in the gym, you’ve been hanging out to socialize. If you do know what I’m referring to, then just like me, you’ve laid back on an incline press to lift some weights and when you stood up and glanced down at the bench, it looked the flood of the century just crept out of your nether region somehow.
No, you didn’t pee on the bench, but in your mind you worry that every she-wolf in the gym is secretly laughing and that guy with the rock-hard abs lifting weights across from you now thinks you’re repulsive. Don’t worry about it. Everyone that works out sweats at some point, and guess what? Swamp ass at the gym is common.
What is Swamp Ass?
Don’t know what swamp ass is? The technical definition (as one can only retrieve from that glorious thing called the internet) is, according to Urban Legend:
“A common condition in which the ass crack and crotch becomes overly moist, sweaty, and stinky from one or all of the following:
– sweating on a hot day
– not bathing enough
– long day of work, sports, play
– incomplete wipe due to rush or laziness
No, you haven’t forgotten to wipe your butt and you haven’t slacked on your daily shower, but what you have done is worked out and sweated due to the heat in the building and the intensity of the workout. So, what do you do about it?
First, you hold your head high and you claim that sweaty butt streak left on the bench! That’s right, claim it! It is yours! Be proud of the fact that you’ve gotten up off the couch and done something intense that caused even your butt to sweat.
Of course, once you proudly display to everyone that you’ve just worked so hard that your butt itself had to sweat, you grab a disinfectant wipe (usually provided at various locations in a gym) and you wipe that seat off so no one else must sit in your now air-dried butt sweat. It’s the decent thing to do and shows you’re not such a gross person.
Of course, it won’t always be your own butt that has an issue. One day, you’re going to be making the rounds through the machines and you’re going to see someone else stand up and voila! Their own swamp ass is going to be there. Right on the very seat you were heading to. If they walk away without grabbing a wipe to clean it, just grab one yourself and give it a good wipe-down and continue your own training mission.
Thankfully, I’ve never personally experienced the smellier side of butt sweat, but for many people, Swamp Ass means not only a wet butt when you work out, but it also means a foul odor as well. Hence the name, Swamp Ass!
Do Something About It!
Want to minimize the chance of having a sweaty derriere? Here’s a few tips to consider the next time you’re planning to hit the gym:
Sure, it’s great to lather on some lotion after your shower. Everyone likes to smell good and have soft skin, right? Of course, we do! The important thing about moisturizing is to remember to not use the lotion on your back or butt. Combine hot temperatures outside or even inside the gym itself with the training you’ll do in the gym and guess what? You are bound to have a sweaty mess sliding right down your backside and well into the crack of your butt. You might smell like a rose, but you’re going to leave slug trails wherever you go!
Grab a baby wipe and try to take some small breaks when possible to head to the restroom and wipe yourself down. Arms. Chest, back, legs and yes, especially your butt and crotch area. When you start sweating during a workout, it’s nice to be able to wipe yourself off and know you still smell good and don’t have sweat pouring down your body. It will also help you cool off a little during an intense training day or during a time when you must be out in the hot sun for long periods.
A Smooth Shave
Some people already shave their pubes, but if you have a problem with excessive sweat in the nether regions and you don’t already enjoy a smooth shave, now is the time to grab that razor or wax and get to work. Hair traps sweat and will make it pool in puddles where it won’t dry quickly. It can also cause a wet and stinky mess and no one wants that. Try shaving or waxing for a while to see if it will benefit you and help with the swamp ass issue!
When you reach for your deodorant, make sure it is an anti-perspirant and not solely a deodorant. A deodorant without anti-perspirant will not prevent sweating although it will help mask the unwanted odor that we all get when we sweat!
It’s common knowledge that when you go to the gym, you need to wear workout appropriate clothing. This can mean you can wear your roomy pajamas if you want to. Most people however prefer to avoid waltzing through the door of the gym in their pajamas and you will usually find roomy t-shirts, tank tops and yoga or training pants and shorts. Dress for comfort, but if you have a case of the sweaty crack syndrome, you may want to scavenge around and find some clothing that can help with the sweat a little.
Personally, I found that Under Armour has a great selection of workout clothing for men and women including underwear that specifically targets sweat to help ease the discomfort as well as the excessive sweating issues. The Heat Gear clothing also has anti-odor technology that helps prevent odor during your training time. Other than Under Armour, you may want to try wearing loose fit clothing or be sure to wear absorbent underwear. Boy shorts are good for absorbing sweat and you can wear them with anything. Many athletic lines of clothing manufacture wicking, or anti-moisture underwear, so be sure to check out a variety to see which works best for you.
Cut Down on Caffeine
I know, someone out there now thinks I’ve lost my mind. Why would anyone want to cut down on that heavenly cup of bliss that you must have no less than 10 times each day? Caffeine, whether in coffee or soda, will cause a person to sweat more. If you tend to sweat excessively and you enjoy a good cup of coffee throughout the day, cut back on the intake and see if it helps.
Get a Checkup
While most of us don’t enjoy the expense of a co-pay at the doctor, it may be necessary if you have an excessive issue with sweating. Not only butt sweat, but full body sweat from head to toe! A doctor may be able to prescribe a prescription strength deodorant that will help alleviate the problem. Excessive sweating can also be a sign of an underlying condition with your thyroid or even a heart condition. It’s best to be checked if you can’t get the sweat under control on your own.
Butt sweat, or swamp ass as many in the gym may call it, can be downright embarrassing. Thankfully, you now know a few great ways to combat that unpleasant, and common sweat issue the next time you’re gearing up to hit the gym or even spend a few hours outdoors in the heat. Now, get to the gym and do what you do!